Photo: Jessy Gruver
Photo: Jessy Gruver

Class In Session, Let’s Talk Sex

Whitney Weinstein

Abstinence is the only way to avoid emotional rejection, STD’s, and a tainted reputation. Well, at least that’s what Principal Shill (Sharp Robert) thinks. It’s all about “keeping the birds from impregnating the bees.” Lucky for us, a muppet named NoodleMonster McSqueedlecheese (HoneyTree EvilEye) and a blue haired chick named Beth (Tiel) believe in democratic sex education. They host a comedic night of educational presentations during List of Common Misconceptions, presented by SEXx Interactive & Polyglamorous Productions.

The evening introduces a series of quirky characters, who   offer diverse perspectives on sexuality, sensuality, feminism, and reverse sexism… if that’s actually a thing.

Mary Magdalene (Veronica Vicious) angelically enters, and unexpectedly converts her dance into burlesque. She lip-syncs to a track that cites Bible verses, indicating her discipleship to God, and declares that her ill standing is an effort to degrade women. Ultimately, she argues, it’s okay to be a sex worker, as long as it’s your choice.

Next we follow two high school kids who separately explore the Internet as they prepare to have sex for the first time. Where is her leg supposed to go? What’s the right kind of moan? Is that the right hole? The climax of this research finally comes, long awaited yet rushed. It’s clunky, awkward, and regardless of their rehearsing, that bra hook is always impossible. Their opportunity for a sincere, mutual connection crumbles at the expense of attempting a model romance. Without formal education, they are unprepared.

When is it acceptable for a woman to indulge in pleasure and celebrate her sexuality? The cast elucidates the sustainment of rape culture. Masculinity is defined by access to the female body. Women serve as gatekeepers. Men are animalistic. The responsibility to maintain a respectable image, amidst vast pressures, falls to the female.

The token young person, Gertrude (Minnie Crisis), counters this, saying, “don’t hit on me just because I’m sex positive and have multiple partners. That is not an invitation.”

“A peach is not a pigeon… Gender is not sex.” Knowledge about these issues is crucial to closing the gap of ignorance and empowering sexual autonomy. Open dialogues not only enlighten our younger generation but also lessen the fear of difference for everyone. In a society where sexuality is so commonly judged and misunderstood, this is a sex-ed class where full attendance is mandatory. Fact checks, reflective moments, and live demonstrations effectively school the audience in the many complexities of sexuality. Satisfied by the in-depth content and outstanding performance quality, I leave the theater ready to continue the conversation.

List of Common Misconceptions, SEXx Interactive & Polyglamorous Productions, Adobe Cafe, September 12, 15, 17, http://fringearts.com/event/list-common-misconceptions-4/

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Whitney Weinstein

Whitney H. Weinstein is a dance educator, choreographer, writer, and professional mover. She is an editor and staff writer with thINKingDANCE. Learn more.

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